'They said mom was a lunatic and should be ashamed of herself for ruining my life': 16-year-old calls out grandparents after they claimed her mother abandoned her because she was hospitalized for post-partum psychosis after she was born

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 13, 2024 8:00 PM EST

PPP, or postpartum psychosis, is a severe condition that isn't discussed enough. Most of us have heard of postpartum depression, where mothers (and, more rarely, fathers) feel low energy, anxious, and downright sad after the birth of their child. Much like garden variety depression, it can make it challenging to complete essential tasks and is much more impactful than everyday bouts of sadness. PPP is an extreme but reversible condition that can occur after birth. Some symptoms of PPP include hallucinations, delusions, out-of-body experiences, and thoughts of harming oneself or their newborn. In cases of PPP, early intervention is the most important thing because, without it, serious harm could come to the mom or her baby. When moms get treatment for PPP, it often means they'll be separated from their baby for several months, which is the best thing for both of them, given the circumstances. Unfortunately, not everyone understands the stakes of such a situation. 

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    via Tim Mossholder (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for calling out my grandparents for stuff they said to my mom in front of their friends and extended family?
    via u/ComprehensiveEye1369
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    My parents and I (16f) spent Saturday with my dad's family. So when my mom went MIA for a bit longer than usual I went looking for her and found her upset. She said nothing was wrong. But an hour later I heard my grandparents call her a bad mom and I stopped and admittedly I eavesdropped on what they were saying. They were saying mom should be ashamed for crying where I could see and how did my dad ever let her raise me with him when she abandoned me when I was a baby for weeks and didn't even c
    via u/ComprehensiveEye1369
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    The context to that is my mom had PPP (post-partum psychosis) after I was born. She got really sick and spent 11 weeks in a hospital/treatment center to help her because she was really at risk. My dad tried to get her help but a lot of people dismissed him. I was maybe 8 or 9 weeks old before someone took him seriously and helped him with mom and got her the help she needed. The experience left them both with trauma and it took mom a long time to recover fully. But when she had, they were afraid
    via u/ComprehensiveEye1369
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    So hearing my grandparents speak to mom like that was awful. Mom left them while I was still eavesdropping and she pulled me away and said it was okay. A while later a group of us were in the kitchen eating and my grandparents were making comments about how lucky some people were to have lots of grandkids and how much it helps when each kid has more than one. My dad was like at them. That's when I brought up how they were to make more digs at more. I called them out on it. I said it was disgusti
    via u/ComprehensiveEye1369
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    they love me. I said they sure didn't talk like that. I said calling my mom a lunatic and rubbing it in her face that she only had me and no more with dad, when they know she was sick after me, made it seem like they I wasn't enough for them. I also said it was to shame a woman who made the safest choice for her family. My dad was furious with his parents and asked what the h I was going on. They slipped up and basically confessed that they'd been saying sh to mom since I was a baby and always w
    via u/ComprehensiveEye1369
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    They tried to lecture me about calling them out but dad shut it down and asked me and mom to wait in the car. Apparently some of the extended family are anti-me now for calling out my grandparents in front of others and my grandparents are also saying how disrespectful I am. Dad raged at anyone who blamed me. But I do wonder if I should have handled it more privately? Like telling dad instead of calling them out like that. AITA?
    via u/ComprehensiveEye1369
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    Chilling_Storm • 2d ago • Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] BRAVA!!!!!!! Go you!!! You are a great kid defending your mom like that and calling out your grandparents bullshittery, and it was even better that everyone understand that this has been going on for 16 years. because if you didn't, your grandparents would have LIED. Now everyone knows what terribly mean hateful people your grandparents are when it comes to your mother. I can't image what your poor mother has had to suffer through alone for all
    via u/Chilling_Storm
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    ComprehensiveEye1369 OP She suffered through so much. Not only with my grandparents but imagine the horrors of PPP. Like I learned more about it last year and it's scary to hear about but she lived it. Then she had her ILs blame her for things out of her control and reminded of the worst time of her life. My mom is the strongest person I know and to know she suffered through all that and kept it to herself crushes me.
    via u/ComprehensiveEye1369
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    Lunar-Eclipse0204 NTA - if they can say negative to others about your mom, then they can take back what they dish in front of those same people. You did nothing wrong, your parents should be proud of you.
    via u/Lunar-Eclipse0204
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    Comprehensive Eye1369 OP They are. I wasn't sure if mom would be okay with it but she was. She also carries the guilt that I had to find out and do it. But I'm glad I could be a part of ending their campaign of shame against her.
    via u/ComprehensiveEye1369
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    thatsunshinegal One of the reasons I'm set on adopting a child instead of going the DIY route is because my mother and both grandmothers all had post- partum psychiatric complications. They all went on to ab e their kids. The key difference here is that your dad 1. Recognized in real time that your mother was struggling and 2. Got your mother the help she needed. Your mother then accepted help and did the work. Those are big, heroic steps and they should be celebrated, not criticized.
    via u/thatsunshinegal
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    crazyheather345 ΝΤΑ. You are brave. Braver than most adults could ever hope to be. Many, many adults simply stand by and stay silent rather than stand up to people they know are in the wrong. Never lose your courage or that will to do the right thing. The world is going to try to force your most noble instincts out of you, try with all your might to never give in.
    via u/crazyheather345
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    LindenSpritz NTA. Your grandparents were cruel to your mom, and you were right to call them out. They were disrespectful, not you. Your dad backed you up, and you stood up for your mom. You did the right thing.
    via u/LindenSpritz
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    Difficult_Humor_9799 I'm not crying,, okay, I'm crying. It's a bit difficult to read what I'm writing now.. I have a child.. I didn't have severe depresion after giving birth, but far from being in good shape. Hearing someone stand up for their mother over something that still probably bothers her, that she wasn't there in the beginning. She must be so proud of you As for what you said, talking about the mother of her grandson for years, THEY DESERVE TO HAVE THE TRUTH SLAMMED AT THEM! Am so angr
    via u/Difficult_Humor_9799
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    bathroomstallghost NTA good on you for sticking up for your mom. its sad to hear how long its been going
    via u/bathroomstallghost
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    Comprehensive Eye1369 OP It breaks my heart. Makes dad feel so guilty too. And now both my parents carry guilt and I hate that. I don't think my grandparents fully realized how fiercely dad would take mom's side over theirs and now they've lost their us because they were so cruel to my mom.
    via u/ComprehensiveEye1369
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    CareyAHHH NTA They slipped up and basically confessed that they'd been saying sh to mom since I was a baby and always went behind everyone's backs so we wouldn't know. They got away with it for 16 years, because they were sneaky about it. Which shows they knew that at the very least, your dad would not approve. So they knew they were doing something wrong.
    via u/CareyAHHH
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    Fickle-Squirrel-4091 Can you imagine melt down the grandparents would have if OP decided to not have children? Grab the popcorn I
    via u/Fickle-Squirrel-4091
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    ComprehensiveEye1369 OP They'd freak! But even better would be me having more kids than they have grandkids and my parents getting to enjoy grandkids that my grandparents will never ever meet.
    via u/ComprehensiveEye1369
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    TheArctic Wolf19 NTA, your grandparents do realize that your mother was seriously ill, yes? That she could've literally caused harm to you or herself if she wasn't hospitalized? Seems to me they don't understand what PPP does to a person, which makes their comments even more ridiculous. Ignore your family members who are saying you should've done it privately, your grandparents are the type of people who need to be called out publicly.
    via u/TheArcticWolf19
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    Longjumping_Hat_2672 Yeah, they were talking like OP's mom "abandoned" her for another man or went off to party. Uh, no, she was HOSPITALIZED for a SERIOUS MEDICAL CONDITION that can be literally deadly.
    via u/Longjumping_Hat_2672

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